Category: Humor

Life Lessons from Blended

Ever so often you experience a movie that leaves such an impact on you that you can’t help but be changed by the experience. Movies like The Pursuit of Happyness, The Green Mile, Schindler’s List… Blended.

blended-artTrue. Most people probably don’t have a profound reaction while watching Blended, or if they do, they don’t like to discuss it with strangers. I am not most people. In truth, not only has my family seen this movie more times than most, we have probably viewed it more times than Adam Sandler! You can’t spend 15 minutes in my home without hearing a Blended reference…Ok, that’s exaggerating (slightly).

While reflecting on this fact a few weeks ago, I began to realize that not only has Blended changed the speech patterns of my offspring…it’s taught me (or reminded me of) all kinds of lessons about life:

    1. The little girl from Disney’s Shake It Up show STILL looks exactly like 80’s teen icon Tiffany. Observe:
      Bella Tiffany

Life lesson…doppelgangers exist. Be very afraid.

2. Mating animals should never be seen in a movie theater or living room with a 7 year old boy. My daughters still can not contain themselves any time the word “wrestling” is used in their presence.

3. Americans don’t understand cricket because it makes no sense. When you “bowl” with a ball, it SHOULDN’T bounce and the other kind is used for soup. We are either expecting smelly rental shoes or a serving of chili. Imagine our surprise at finding neither during a game of cricket.

4. Dodo birds cannot be trusted. End of story.

5. We have nicknames for human anatomy because it is less embarrassing for all involved. This is true even when the person using the correct terminology is very cute and not even old enough to spell said terminology.

6. If you are friends with Adam Sandler-you have a lucrative job for life. Seriously. FOR LIFE! I could devote an entire post to this subject, but needless to say when a brother hooks a guy up, he hooks him up for at least a sequel or two AND a few movies with Drew Barrymore to boot. Heck, I wish I was good friends with Adam Sandler…as long as there is a good health plan for Mr. Rooster and our all our chicks!

7. Monkeys do not make good band mates. Sure, they stand on stage, but they lack a real enthusiasm for the set.

8. What happens in Africa stays in Africa (unless it is a romantic relationship between Sandler and Barrymore).

9. There are actually people in this world with enough disposable income to hire someone to organize their closets. These “closet organizers” probably make in a month what I make in a year.

10. There is always hope for tomorrow when it is cloudy today. Even if you hated Blended- never fear! Adam will call Drew and ask her where she wants to go on vacation and then they will travel there with an entire film crew and make another romantic comedy that you might like better. All hope in this world is never lost.

Always remember that.